Alright...I got turning 40 done, like it was some kind of item on a cosmic to-do list. This week, I am catching up on scrapbooking. Always so many projects on the not-so-cosmic-to-do-list in that arena, and I simply love it to the bottom of my tippy toes.
Truly.
At the same time, I feel engines--is energy the same root word?--revving somewhere deep within me. The need to do something, to make my life more meaningful, to leave a mark, to contribute to the partnership with my husband financially.
But...what?
This is certainly not the first time I've been faced with this short but very deeply important question. I haven't previously ignored it, but the pursuit of an answer just keeps getting interrupted by life in all of its chaotic glory. At this age, though, I feel more than ever the passing of time at an ever-increasing speed. I mean, heavens-to-murgatroyd, how the hell did it get to be Summer Solstice already (tomorrow)??!!
I believe in the magick of intention in a practical way. Focusing intention gets things done, people. I've seen that principle manifest in my life too many times not to put a whole lot of stock in it. But what do I intend? It's not an easy question to answer, really. When you believe the Universe is yours for the taking (okay, sort of), the possibilities are endless, and you're left with trying to sort through all of them to figure out which one of those available dreams to make come true.
I know that I don't have much interest in going to an office somewhere, answering phones or staring at a computer all day, just for the money. Not that such a job is beneath me. It isn't. I used to do that very thing, and it paid well, and carried me through many years of my adult life. But as long as I'm talking about what I actually want in a job, I'm going to be honest. Drone work isn't it.
Working for someone creative, as a personal assistant, would be cool. Or writing for one of my favorite magazines would be even better. Something creative, something that I can do from home, at least sometimes, would rock, especially if it involved occasional travel to places I already love or want to explore.
Not too tall an order, is it? The only problem I see with submitting that type of request to that great wish fulfillment utility of the Universe is that it might just not be specific enough. In my mind, I picture this collection of small beings--elves, perhaps?--gathered around me with clipboards, ready to listen and write down what I'm asking for, getting together all their resources and working together to make it happen.
That's how I usually visualize it, anyway.
Copyright 2008 Melissa LaFavers