Snow falls. I wake to the sound of my husband working in the office across from our bedroom. Work-at-home Tuesday, when I can sleep a little later. He greets me as he passes our bedroom door, on the way back up from starting the coffee. I hold onto him. I confess, my holiday spirit is not what it should be.
Travel does that. I remember 2006, when we traveled to Texas for Thanksgiving and Indianapolis for Christmas. I was worn out. My festive spirit was depleted. I didn't want to do it again. Ever.
2007 we stayed close to home, and it was hard being away from our families, but it was what we needed. I unpacked all the decorations, and we had two trees, an artificial one and a real one. This year, the travel was more for the necessity of being near Mom during her surgery. We do what we have to do, but it takes its toll.
I'm trying to recapture the magic of the holidays in these few days left of the season. I am not feeling it, and I'm feeling guilty for that since there are so many people who don't have the luxury of coping with feelings when they don't have even the bare necessities. I'm a lucky girl, and I know it every day.
I'll go out into this brilliant Winter weather and finish the shopping. I'll wrap the presents, and I'll do some laundry, and I'll get ready for tomorrow's feast. Maybe I'll even bake, if the spirit moves me.
And I'll remember that Christmas, like any other day, only has to contain the meaning I pour into it, and it doesn't have to be anything more than a day to be with the man I love, to celebrate light in this world.
Copyright 2008 Melissa LaFavers