Just now I read a post on one of the blogs I frequent, and the blogger announced that she is ending her blog at the end of next week. I do not know this woman, but I have been inspired by her honest, clear style of writing more than once. In fact, I have wished that my writing, here and in other arenas, could be, would be, more like hers.
And now she is quitting, and I read about it as I was thinking about what direction I want to take my own blog.
On Friday, when I was doing my usual Friday thing, driving from Panera to Archivers or from Archivers to Michaels, I was thinking about the post I wrote last June about the deer I saw at a local park, how utterly wondrous it was to me at that time because I had spoken about the possibility of seeing a deer just before it actually happened. I had re-read the post because I was doing a scrapbook page about the incident and wanted to refresh my memory.
And I was embarrassed about the post. I accused myself of being childish, silly, too wrapped up in magical thinking. I thought, I want to write more deeply, more authentically, and I want to write about things that matter. I want the practice of my art to have direction and meaning.
I'm not sure what that all means, other than I have a desire to go deeper and write more here. Maybe post essays that are more thought out and less off-the-cuff, although I will always want to use this platform to spontaneously speak my mind about anything that inspires me to do so.
Having a blog is having a voice. I want to take that a little more seriously without getting so bogged down in destructive self-criticism that I don't write anymore.
Copyright 2009 Melissa LaFavers